Subject of Change
by esama
Summary: Voldemort kills Harry and what follows turns out to be not the Great Adventure - but an Epic Misadventure. Crossover slightly on crack, warning for gender bender
1. it starts

Warnings; Death of a character, gender bender, language, capslock of doom, innuendo and Jiraiya.

**Subject of change**

Death was surprisingly like fire. Harry hadn't ever really contemplated it that much, which was kind of strange when one thought how many brushes he had had with the concept over the years - and not just in terms of almost dying in this or that event. No, there were ghosts and then there were the thing about seeing his parents come out from tip of Voldemort's wand, and then there were Dementors too, and the Archway of Death and finally the whole Resurrection Stone thing too... It was lot of brushes, all in all, but he hadn't really given it that much thought. Except maybe around the time Sirius had died, but that had been because of his desperate wish of seeing him return as a ghost, and it was best not contemplated further.

If anything, he had gotten the concept of death being faintly grey, kind of dusty and airy - like dust in sun beam at the back of old room, or something, vague and intangible. Okay, he might've also hoped for a plain of some sort where he and his parents would spent eternity of going over all the things they should've experienced together, but hadn't because of Voldemort, but he had always thought it was a bit too optimistic of him, even considering all the ghosts and such. Things that nice just didn't happen to him.

He was actually kind of surprised that he was surprised by the firey death. Because, really, he should've been expecting it! What else could've happened to him, honestly? Some sort of ethereal plain of perfect whiteness, maybe some manifestation of some place he knew and was suitably symbolic - like the King's Cross, maybe - where all was explained and his life finally begun to make sense? No no no. Harry Potter didn't get conclusions like that - he got cliff-hangers and vague allusions of this and that difficulty ahead of him, and then couple months of imprisonment at the Dursleys.

He wasn't entirely sure if the firey death place was any better than Dursleys. Well, it didn't have Vernon, screaming himself red and hoarse at the sight of him, so that was a plus.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE, HUMAN?"

Well, Harry thought, sighing and folding his arms. He had had that coming. He might as well thought that, well, at least it can't get any worse than this.

The fire around him turned out to be not fire at all, but fur, he noted as the enormous beast that had been more or less curled around him straightened itself, and he noticed that there was enormous head just above him - a fox's head - and it was glaring, sneering and growling down at him all at once. With great expanse of teeth, too.

Well, _of course_ there was a monstrous gigantic fox in his afterlife.

"HOW DID YOU GET HERE? ANSWER ME," the beast demanded and without waiting Harry to manage an answer, the great beast lifted one enormous front paw - with claws bigger than Harry's unfortunate childhood home - and swept it down towards him with the speed that would've made the Firebolt manufacturers weep.

One nice thing about being dead, Harry found, was that you apparently couldn't be killed. Either that, or death did some amazing things to one's reflexes. He wasn't quite sure which it was, but as he found himself Dissapparated and Apparated little further away and safely out of the reach of the Fox's enormous claws, he was grateful nonetheless

"Oh bloody hell," he murmured, as the fox roared in irritation - and if irritation had a size, this irritation would've crushed Hogwarts with its. The beast didn't miss a second to turn around and launch another attack at him, almost flying across the space between them and coming at him, all fangs and claws and fur like fire.

Again, the Dissapparition and Apparation seemed to happen without his conscious choice - not that he minded, because he really really didn't. "Okay, is this how my death is going to be, I'm going to spend eternity running away from a murderous fox? What is this, some sort of messed up metaphor?" Harry asked, a little irritated himself now, as he adjusted his collar. "I'm starting to see why Voldemort wants to be immortal - if I got this ahead of me for all the things I did in life, I'd really hate to see his afterlife."

Oddly enough, the beast seemed to calm down a little at that - if growling smoke and hissing acid could be called calmed down. "YOU THINK YOU ARE DEAD? YOU THINK THIS IS HELL?" It asked, clawing the surface beneath them which wasn't quite earth or anything else Harry had ever experienced.

"I just died, so, yes. I thought I'd be a logical inclusion," Harry answered, now rubbing a hand across his chest. He could still feel the icy fire of Voldemort's Avada Kedavra, hitting him.

The enormous fox stared at him for a moment, before snarling loud and long. It took the wizard a moment to realise the beast was laughing. "YOU PITIFUL MAGGOT," the fox mocked. "YOU'D BE BETTER OFF IN HELL."

"Oh, that's encouraging," Harry muttered. "If that's not it, then what is this place?"

"A PRISON," the fox hissed, lowering its head and almost coming to Harry's eye level. "AND IF YOU DID NOT BREAK IN, THEN THIS IS YOUR PRISON TOO."

"A prison -" Harry started to ask, but was cut of as the fox lurched forward like attacking snake, trying to snatch him up in one enormous bite. "Would you stop that?" Harry yelled at him, after finding him Dissapparated a little further away again. "That is really distracting!"

"SPEND A DOZEN YEARS HERE - YOU'LL LEARN TO APPRECIATE IT," the fox promised almost - but not quite - merrily, and again launched after him.

Harry wasn't sure how long the fox kept chasing after him - or how many times he found him Apparating here and there in odd, automated defence that, after his gratitude faded, got actually a bit annoying. He had never quite learned not to be nauseous after apparition, and he was sure if this kept up for too long, he'd end up throwing up. And the fact that he wasn't entirely sure if dead people could throw up - because, really, what purpose would've stomach have served on a dead person? - didn't seem to matter.

The fox, though, showed now sings of stopping - if anything, he was getting more excited as he got closer and closer to catching Harry between Apparations, giving Harry the weirdest mental image of Crookshanks chasing the light of a laser pointer. "STAY SILL, MAGGOT, LET ME HAVE A BITE OF YOU!" the fox roared as it practically bounced at him.

"What the hell are you doing, you bastard? Some people are trying to sleep here, you know!"

Harry blinked with surprise, both at the voice - because it wasn't the fox's earthquake roar, but actual human yell - and at the way it made the fox lose its aim and shoot right past him. Blinking, Harry looked around for the source of the yell - and then almost yelled himself, as suddenly enormous bars shot down from the dark expanse above them, and walls appeared to the formerly endless space, closing him and the fox into enormous cage.

"SHIT. IT'S OUR IDIOT OF A JAILER," the fox grunted while rolling to his feet.

"We have a jailer?" Harry asked, but before the fox could bother to answer - if it had ever intended to, which was doubtful - there was a sudden flash of bright blue in the prison. Harry hissed softly at the glare of the light, as did the fox, as a person appeared to the other side of the cage.

"What the hell?" the voice, which had managed to make the fox loose it's footing, asked, and as Harry carefully looked up he saw that there was a blonde boy standing there, just few steps beyond the bars of the cage, staring at him. "Kyuubi, what the hell are you playing at? What's this supposed to be?" the boy asked, pointing at Harry angrily.

"SHOULDN'T YOU KNOW? WEREN'T YOU THE ONE WHO SENT HIM HERE?"

"What the hell are you talking about? Send him?" The boy asked, and then snorted. "You think I can do something like that - and you think I'd be enough of an asshole to shackle some poor bastard with you?"

"THEN WHY THE HELL IS HE HERE?"

The boy frowned, and turned his eyes to Harry, who raised his eyebrows in answer, not about to start yelling at this person. He looked like he was barely a teenager - but if he was really the jailer of the enormous fox, then Harry wasn't about to start making an annoyance out of himself.

"Okay, who the hell are you and how did you get here?" the boy finally asked, pointing accusing finger at him. "And if you're with the fish bastard and Sasuke's asshole of a big brother, then know that the Pervert-Hermit is in the room with me, and he can seal your ass out any moment!"

Harry lifted his hands in surrender. "Okay, I have no idea who any of those people with... descriptive names are, but I'm pretty sure I'm not with any of them," he said hurriedly. "I'm Harry - and I died and woke up here, and then the fox started trying to kill me, end of story."

The blonde blinked at him, lowering his hand. "You're dead?" he asked and then folded his arms. "Never met a ghost before. Are you haunting me? Should I go to exorcist? Find a priest?" he frowned thoughtfully. "Never seen an exorcising before. I wonder if it's cool..."

"Huh?" Harry asked. "No, wait, I'm not haunting anyone - I'm just... here."

"Well, here's inside me," the blonde boy said, lifting the hem of his shirt and showing off squiggles in his belly. "Riight here's where you are."

"What, really?" the wizard asked, turning to the fox.

"UNFORTUNATELY, YES," the beast grumbled. "BASTARD FOURTH'S DOING."

"I have no idea what that means," Harry answered, frowning.

"Wait, you seriously don't know? How do you just... not now? I mean, you're here, and you shouldn't even be able to get here, I mean. It's supposed to impossible - impenetrable, inescapable prison!" the blonde boy said, and pointed a finger at him again. "Are you lying?"

"If I were lying, I wouldn't tell you, now would I?" Harry asked with a snort, before shaking his head walking forward. "Listen, I don't know how I got here but trust me when I say this, I don't even want to be here and - what are you looking at me like that for?"

The blonde had packed away, as Harry had walked through the bars to the other side. "You can't just do that? Can you? I mean... Kyuubi?"

"DON'T LOOK AT ME, MAGGOT. I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS," the fox growled back.

"They're kind of wide. Hagrid could walk past them," Harry pointed out, glancing at the bars with the spaces between them bigger than your average doorways.

"Impenetrable!" the blonde yelped back as a way of objecting.

"Yeah, with holes you could walk a horse through," the wizard snorted. "I can see how they'd be able to hold him, though, with his big thick head and all," he added, glancing at the fox.

"WATCH IT, MAGGOT. YOU'RE STILL NEAR ENOUGH FOR ME TO TAKE A SWIPE AT YOU."

"And I'm terrified, sure," Harry agreed with a snort, and turned to the blonde kid. "Listen, if this is your place or whatever, then maybe you can kick me out? If I'm not supposed to be here, then I'd be happy to get going. I have afterlife to get to, people to see, stuff like that."

The blonde blinked, shaking his head and straightening his back. "Well. I don't know. I've never tried doing anything like that," he admitted, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "I guess I could try something though. Give me your hand?"

"DAMN. AND I WAS JUST STARTING TO LIKE HIM," the fox sighed, as Harry took the blonde's hand, and the world seemed to spin around them - not quite unlike it did when he Disapparated.

Then, before he could examine the feeling in further detail, they were suddenly in a dark room. And the blonde kid was staring at him with his mouth hanging open.

"Oh. Oops," the boy murmured, his eyes widening dramatically.

"What?" Harry asked - almost gasping at the sound of his voice. Then, as Naruto flushed bright red, his eyes trailing downwards, Harry followed his gaze down, to his own chest. It took a moment to comprehend what he was seeing - but even then he couldn't get more than sharp whine of objection out. Which was probably good - he wasn't entirely sure what he would've said with his weird, girly voice, even if he had managed to find the words.

He just didn't know enough many curses to cover sudden transformation into buxom girl. A naked buxom girl. A blonde naked buxom girl.

"Um... er... ah... H-Harii?" the blonde kid asked, making Harry snap his eyes up and to his flaming red face. "T-that's you, right?"

"... yes. This. What?" Harry asked, pointing at his chest. "Wasn't there before. Pretty sure. Wasn't."

"Uumm... yeah. I think this might be my fault. Uhh. That is to say. Aah... I've got no idea how though! A-ahaha..." the kid trailed away, his face transfixed into horrible, frozen grin of sheer horror. "You wouldn't happen to know Ninjutsu? Maybe you can dispel?" He asked hopefully.

"What?" Harry asked sharply, almost making the blonde fall over backwards.

"I mean... that's my henge, you know? I used to make jokes as her - it was really awesome, though of course no one saw it like that - but anyway... It's not real or anything - you should be able to dispel it! A-and maybe if you do, you will turn into a ghost and everything will be fine -"

He stopped babbling as Harry grabbed a hold of his collar and hauled him closer. "Deep breaths," he almost growled out the instruction. "Short sentences. Explain. Now!"

"But, but, but -" the kid stuttered, very desperately not looking downwards - where Harry realised his new breasts were pressing against the kid's chest.

Before Harry could try shaking some sense into him, there was a sleepy groan on the other side of the room, and a light was clicked on. Frozen in place, Harry and the kid he was hair width's away from strangling turned to look at the man with long white hair and red lines on his face, who had sat up on a bedroll, and was now looking at them with bleary eyes.

"Naruto," the man said after a moment. "While I approve your imagination and the creative use of shadow clones, I thought we talked about masturbation in shared quarters."

"Y-yeah - except it was me doing the talking and you the damned pervert who needed to be talked to!" the boy snapped back almost like as a reflex. "And, for the record, being strangled here! Not masturbating!"

"Kinky, but still. Go do it in the bathroom or something," the man answered, rubbing a hand across his face before giving Harry an appreciating look. "Though on other hand..."

"I see why you call him a pervert," Harry said to the kid, Naruto.

"I know, right?" the kid agreed, giving Harry and uneasy look before quickly starting to open his pyjama top.

"I was kidding - go to the god damn bathroom, I have no interest seeing you that way!" the pervert bellowed at him from across the room, while Harry gave the kid a confused look - and then realised what he was thinking, as the kid struggled out of the pyjama top, and lifted it to Harry's shoulders instead, holding his eyes awkwardly shut as he did.

"Oh," Harry murmured, and awkwardly wiggled his arms to the sleeves before pulling the top shut over his chest. It... Didn't quite reach and if he would've gone about buttoning it, it would've resulted in a ruined shirt. But at least he wasn't exposing himself any more, so that was good. "Um. Thanks," the wizard murmured, still trying to figure out how someone would think that seeing a boy with a naked girl somehow made it masturbation. He had kind of missed most of that part of his teenage years thanks to Voldemort - but he was sure that masturbation didn't include naked person of opposite gender. Aside from possible picture materials and such.

"Okay, what are you doing now, some sort of role play?" the white haired pervert asked, looking oddly weirded out and fascinated at the same time.

"We're doing nothing - sheeh, Pervert Hermit! Get your head outta the gutter for a moment," Naruto growled at him and then pointed at Harry. "He was in my head - with Kyuubi! Woke me up."

"What?" the white haired man asked, blinking.

"He was in my head!"

"... what?" the man asked again, now squinting. "Is this some sort of weird fantasy of yours?"

"Um," Harry said, coughing awkwardly. "Excuse me? Hi. How do you do? My name is Harry - and I'm dead."

The white haired "pervert hermit" stared at him and Naruto for a moment before rubbing his eyes. "Maybe it's a dream," he murmured, and turned around with all apparent intention of going back to sleep. "Yeah, just a dream. Weirdest dream in a while, seriously..."

"Argh! Why do you have to be such a -!" Naruto answered, and though it lacked eloquence and seemed to fail to get the message across, the way he tossed a knife at the pervert seemed to make up for it. Harry wasn't entirely sure what to think about the easy way the kid had just lobbed a knife at the man, though - or the fact that the man had caught it just inch short of having it embedded in his skull - but there was whole volume of communication going on right there.

"Pay attention here, pervert! The blonde kid growled, pointing his accusing finger now at the man. "Serious stuff happening here. There's a person here who was in my mind, as a guy, fighting with Kyuubi, who was being annoying, who woke me up - and he says he's dead, and he didn't want to haunt me, and I wanted to bring him out, only he ended up in my Oiroke form which I didn't mean to happen - but this is serious stuff! And it's happening! And it's not a dream!"

The white haired man scratched his hair - with the knife Naruto had thrown at him. "I could be high," he objected. "The stuff I bought to smoke was pretty strong."

"Argh! Listen to me!" the blonde kid yelled - and went off into a rant to explain what had happened, while Harry scratched his cheek awkwardly and wondered if it was too late to go back to the cage with the fox. The fox had been trying to kill him, true, but at least it had made sense in a weird way. This... seriously didn't.

It took some shouting, before the man seemed to realise that he was neither dreaming, nor high, and that Harry wasn't some weird creation of Naruto's - which, as weird as it was, was what the man kept on believing right until the very end. "Alright," the man finally said, walking closer and sitting down in front of still half naked - and female - Harry, looking for all the world to see a complete different and completely serious man. "Your name?"

"Harry," the wizard answered awkwardly, clutching onto the pyjama top in desperate attempt to pull it shut.

"Hello Harii, my name is Jiraiya, it's very nice to meet you. What are you?"

Harry frowned, giving the man a slightly worried look. "Um. Right now, or in former life?" he asked awkwardly. When the man merely stared at him, he coughed. "Well, I was a wizard - a magician. I was seventeen years old, fighting a war, fairly badly, and last thing I remember is lethal attack hitting me in the chest. So, right now? I think I'm dead."

"A... magician?" the man muttered before reaching out and touching the side of Harry's face - and then tugging Harry's eyelids open wider and turning his head aside, like checking to see if he was doll or something. Then he touched Harry's neck, sought out his pulse, before reaching down lower and -

Apparently automated apparition wasn't the only side effect of death, Harry thought with wide eyed fascination, as he stared at the bright red palm print he had left onto Jiraiya's tattooed cheek.

"... I guess I had that coming," the man said, stroking his chin thoughtfully and looking oddly cool for someone who had just gotten slapped. "You sure you've not always been a girl? Because let me tell you, you and certain princess have frightening amount of strength in common."

"Pervert," Naruto grumbled, glaring at the man.

"Well. You're not a clone of Naruto's," Jiraiya said, rubbing his cheek as he turned to face Harry. "You got a pulse - even best of clones don't have that. On top of that, your chakra is different from his, which no clone could ever manage. And you're pretty solid."

"You mean, he won't get popped out of existence if someone sticks a knife in him?" Naruto asked, giving Harry a look which made Harry perfectly certain that he was actually contemplating on trying it.

"Try it and I'll slap you too. Twice as hard," Harry promised, taking his turn at the accusing finger pointing and making the blonde kid grin sheepishly.

"Okay, okay. A magician, you say? Hmm... Not a ninja?" Jiraiya asked.

"What's a ninja?" Harry asked in answer.

The man nodded, seeming satisfied. "And you mean a real magician, rather than pulling a rabbit out of your hat, magician?"

"I'm not a stage magician, if that's what you mean," the wizard answered, glaring.

"You actually believe him?" Naruto asked, looking at Jiraiya with surprise.

"I guess. Whole lot of the frogs back at MountMyouboku learn under magicians before they become summons. I don't know exactly how it works, but as I hear it they go to another world to do it. I think cats and rats do that too pretty often - oh, and the owls, of course," Jiraiya murmured. "I thought it was just that the summons could go there, I've never heard of it working the other way around."

"Wha?" Harry asked. "Frogs? What, like Trevor? And owls?"

"You know about that?" Jiraiya asked.

"Well... lot of wizards have frogs, cats or owls for a familiar - my best friend has a rat, though that wasn't an animal, it was a man pretending to be one. I used to have a white owl..." Harry murmured and scowled. Thinking about Hedwig still hurt.

"A... familiar?"

"Companion animal. Kind of like a pet but better," Harry shrugged and then narrowed his eyes. "Wait, did you say another world?"

"Yes. There are certainly no magicians here," Jiraiya said, lifting a single eyebrow at him. "And I guess your world doesn't have any ninjas," he added, and folded his arms. "Say, did you happen to see any frogs before you died?"

"Frogs? Well... no, but I was in a forest so I suppose there could've been one there?" Harry more asked than stated, still reeling with the concept of another world. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, let's say there was," Jiraiya said. "Of course, this is just a theory... But let's say you died in a weird way and your soul got a bit shaken by it - and for some reason it couldn't go to the afterlife properly. Who know how you ended up here - you probably piggybacked on that frog - but somehow you ended here. Naruto has the frog summoning contract, so... when your soul couldn't find a place to go, it followed the threads of chakra into only suitable container with enough space to accommodate you - which is Naruto."

"Wha?" Harry asked with disbelief. "Did you just come up with that on the spot?"

"Pretty much," the white haired man nodded. "And it's probably nowhere near close to what actually happened, but it gives us a starting point for further discussion and such," he stretched his arms and stood up. "Either way, there's couple of ways to go from here, depending on what you want."

"And what are those?" Harry asked, frowning.

"First of all, we could kill you. It will probably send your soul back to your proper afterlife and you can do whatever you wanted to do with your death afterwards," Jiraiya started. "Secondly, we can do nothing. As far as I can tell without any invasive examinations, you're alive, a human being, and probably fairly healthy. Albeit, you're a girl and I have no idea how you became that way, but I've seen weirder things happening. At any case, you can keep on living here, in that form."

"Well, we can scratch the first of all option from the list," Harry said. He had died already once - he wasn't looking to repeat the experience that soon. "So the third option?" he asked hopefully.

"Hm? Oh, there's no third - only variations of the second, which involve deciding what you do now and so forth," Jiraiya shrugged.

"How about turning me into a boy?" Harry asked. "You know, these? Not in my usual repertoire of physical features," he said, pointing at his chest, which he was still, despite his best attempts, showing more of than he would've liked. "And I'd kind of like my family jewels back."

"You'd have to see a medical specialist about that - sex change operations are not my forte," Jiraiya said, yawning. "Now, though, I'm going to bed. It's middle of the night, and I need by beauty sleep. Naruto, see if there's a third futon here somewhere for Harii, would you? I'm gonna visit the little boy's room for a moment."

"Oi, I'm not done asking questions!" Harry called after him. "How do you know this anyway? And what about those frogs - if they can go back and forth between our worlds, can't they get me back? And what the hell was that fox thing about?"

"Nature calls," Jiraiya answered like not hearing him, yawning again and walking

"Um… the fox is the great nine tailed demon fox, Kyuubi. It was sealed inside me when I was a baby when it attacked my home village," Naruto said awkwardly, getting up and walking to a near by closet. "Um… not that many people know about it - no one my age, at least. It's a village secret."

"I can't see why you keep him a secret - he's got such a charming personality," Harry answered sarcastically, making the boy grin. Harry smiled back and then sighed. "I guess I could use some sleep - I was sort of running around a lot back home, I can't even remember when I slept last. Not to mention about sleeping through a full night," he murmured. Sleeping hadn't been exactly a priority when there had been dying to be done. "Do you think I could get some clothing, though?"

"I don't think any of mine will fit your… hm," Naruto made a haphazard motion at Harry's chest. "Let me see if the pervert has anything clean - those should fit."

By the time Jiraiya returned, Harry had ditched Naruto's pyjama top and was instead wearing one of Jiraiya's _kimonos_. Harry had also undone the pigtails his hair had been arranged on, and was in process of trying to figure out what to do with the hair. The man didn't seem to notice, though, as he stumbled over Naruto's bedroll on his way to his own.

"We'll talk more tomorrow, once I've had a smoke and food and decent cup of tea," Jiraiya said, yawning collapsing to the bed face first. "I'll see if we'll bring you with us to find Tsunade and all too…"

"Unbelievable," Harry said as Jiraiya begun to, incredibly enough, snore right away.

"He was drinking last night," Naruto shrugged, as if it explained everything. Thinking back at Uncle Vernon, Harry mused it just as well might've.

"So. Who's Tsunade?" the wizard asked, giving up on the hair and turning to Naruto, who was finished setting down the bedroll for Harry.

"The pervert's former team mate - she's gonna be the new leader of our village, if we can find her," Naruto shrugged. "There was a siege and the old man Hokage died…. it's a long story," he murmured awkwardly, before sitting down to his own bedroll. "Um. I'm sorry, about the… you know," he motioned at Harry. "I didn't think that would happen."

"Yeah, well. I thought I was dead," Harry mused, absently poking at his chest and wondering how he was supposed to sleep with them. Naruto had some imagination, to come up with this body. "I didn't really want to die, though, so this… well, it could be worse," he said. "Sorry for crashing in your… whatever that place was," he added. "I didn't realise I was inside a person. Or causing trouble."

"It's okay," Naruto assured, grinning widely. "Something good coming out from being Kyuubi's host, that's… that's not bad. You know?"

"Sure," Harry nodded, though he was only sure he had no idea. But it didn't matter. "I think this is the hands down weirdest thing that's ever happened to me," he murmured. And considering the things he had seen, that was really saying something. Though, ending up in another world as a buxom blonde girl, that was pretty weird.

"Me too, I think," Naruto murmured, blinking thoughtfully. "You know… Since that body was, you know, sort of made from me, do you think this makes us related?" he asked, brightening up suddenly. "I mean, you got my blonde hair and everything! Maybe you're like my sister? I've never had a big sister! Or anything!"

Harry frowned, giving the kid a look. He looked… disturbingly hopeful. "Let's… not go there just yet," the wizard said. He hadn't been girl for more than hour, for Merlin's sake. He wasn't ready to become anyone's sister. But, at the sight of Naruto's heart broken disappointment, he sighed. "Fine. But let's go with big brother, rather than sister, okay?" he amended awkwardly - and got himself a lapful of excited blonde, squeezing the breath out of his awkwardly swollen chest.

Harry sighed. Yeah. This was definitely the weirdest thing that had happened to him. And with his luck there would be a snake bastard somehow involved, too.

"This is going to be the best thing ever! I have a big brother who is a girl from another world and awesome! And even Kyuubi thinks you're awesome - though he'd never say it of course, but he was making enough noise, and anyway, everyone's going to be so jealous and they'll be all, _what an awesome big brother Naruto has_ and…" Naruto gushed excitedly, and for a moment Harry wondered if he still could pick the morbid _first of all_ option instead.

xx

I had a brain fart. I dunno if it will be continued, though. It was a passing wind.

My apologies for possible grammar errors and such.


	2. and it goes on

Warnings; Death of a character, gender bender, language, capslock of doom, innuendo and Jiraiya. Plus Harry being a teenage boy.

**Subject of change**

**Continued against all odds**

Harry hummed to himself while examining his reflection on the mirror. He had been hoping that the previous night had been just a weird dream and that he would either wake up in the forest or in after life - or, just, generally somewhere else and preferably in his own body, with certain parts intact and others blessedly absent. But, of course, no such easy escape happened to him and here he was - a _she_, with long blonde hair and breasts and hips and all.

Well. He could've gotten a worse body, he had to admit, as he absently tested the weight of his breasts. While the teenage boy inside him skipped about gleefully, he recalled the way Voldemort had came out, in his second go around. White and snakelike and hairless and just… alien. Not to mention the fact that, if he remembered it right, Voldemort had came out without _any_ bits. So yeah. Harry definitely could've gotten a worse body.

He would probably change his mind about that eventually if this body suffered the female curse of "that time of the month", but until then he figured that, since there was nothing he could do right now… he might as well enjoy it.

The problem was, he would probably not enjoy it even half as much, as Jiraiya already was. Harry had woken up with the man leaning over him, and only Quidditch instincts and year on the run had saved Harry from being groped. That, and the fact that aside from automated slapping-defences, his body also came equipped with some major leg muscles. Naruto had had to peel Jiraiya off the ceiling afterwards.

The wizard frowned a little at the memory. There was that, and there was the fact that the palm print he had left on Jiraiya's cheek had turned into a purple-blue bruise over the night. Female and curvaceous enough to fit the cover of Playwizard or not, his body was really… strong. Strong enough to be unnatural, even. But though Harry had been a little horrified about what he had done, Jiraiya had looked none too worse for wear - if anything, as he had brushed the debris of the ceiling off his shoulders, he looked like it was just another morning for him. Naruto hadn't seemed all that surprised either, he had only groaned with embarrassment over his teacher. So, maybe it was common in this world.

The body didn't really look like it was strong enough to kick a tall, muscular man to the ceiling, though. Sure, Harry had some… very generously endowed hips, but aside from that… There was no real muscle definition. Curves, a lot of curves, but that was about it.

"Some imagination that kid has," he muttered to himself with mixture of exasperation and awe, not for the first time. He turned a little to the side, to eye the line of his back and hips - and yeah, that was _some_ behind he had. Frowning a little he weighed the breasts again, trying to figure out their size. D? Double D? And natural too. No extra _stuffing_ as far as he could tell. Double D's, an arse to die for - and yet he had a near minuscule waist. Even Ginny was thicker in the middle, and she was a slim little thing.

"Geez," Harry sighed, chuckling feebly. He was comparing his own body to that of his former girlfriend. That was definitely a new one.

"Harii?" Jiraiya's voice called through the bathroom door, tone highly interested. "Are you playing with yourself? Heavens know I would in your position! Hey, hey, can I watch? I can make some excellent -" his voice was cut off with a sound of a person being punched and then by the rattling of the door as Jiraiya's head collided with it. As Harry jumped with surprise and quickly looked around to see where he had discarded Jiraiya's kimono, he heard the white haired man growling. "Brat! What was that for?"

"You leave my big brother alone, pervert!" Naruto answered. "I'll kick you in the balls!"

"Why you little -! Have you no idea what kind of opportunity this is, why, the books I could write - a man, turned to a woman! The masturbation scenes alone -"

"Pervert!" Naruto screeched back, and there was sound of what Harry supposed was architecturally important element being rattled

With as much dignity as he could muster - because, when he thought about it, little time alone and he just might've - Harry pulled his meagre clothing back on before throwing the bathroom door open. It nearly impacted both Naruto and Jiraiya's heads, thanks to the fact that the pair of them were engaged in some sort of brutal wrestling match that included plenty of hair pulling and Naruto's fingers in Jiraiya's nostrils.

"Oh, a _view_," Jiraiya breathed nasally in somewhat worshipful voice, his gaze zeroing between Harry's legs. Naruto looked up immediately as well, and then went bright red.

Flushing with the realisation that he had no underwear, the wizard did the first thing that came to mind, and kicked both the man and his blond student out of his way. "Gits!" Harry growled, and then winced a little as the two skittered across the hall where they collided ungracefully to a wall.

Ouch. He needed to watch out for that. Harry grimaced somewhat guiltily, lowering his bare - dainty - foot to the wooden floor. "Uhm… Sorry. Do all women here have super human strength?" he asked, as Naruto and Jiraiya collected themselves and stood up.

"Just the shinobi ones. And some samurai - though I've met some _wicked_ geishas who could give Tsunade a run for her money," Jiraiya mused, rubbing his chin. He squinted at Harry somewhat invasively. "You are on the stronger side of normal though. You can thank Naruto for that - what you are is basically what he will be in four, five years. If he was a woman. And curvaceous."

"You saying I'm not as strong as big brother is now?" Naruto asked, squinting at Harry too, though his look didn't seem as perverted. More… foxlike, actually. The kid glanced at his teacher. "I could kick you across the hall too, if I wanted to."

"Yeah, right. Pfft," Jiraiya answered and then grinned at Harry. "Did you play with yourself? How was it, all parts functional?"

Harry narrowed his eyes. He was starting to realise that perversion was Jiraiya's way of communicating - and Naruto's way included sharp pointy objects and his knuckles. Harry didn't quite yet know what he was supposed to think about that. On one had, well, Ron would've probably been asking the same thing amidst his _eww_s and such. On other hand, Harry had a strong urge to kick Jiraiya to the groin - which was probably coming from the same place as the slaps and superwoman kicks.

Jiraiya coughed softly, suddenly looking awkward. "Yes, ahem. Let's get back to that later, then," the man said. Then, completely changing moods, he clapped his hands joyously together. "So. Shall we see if the toads know anything about you - or will we do the more fun thing and buy you clothing first? I know a great lingerie - but you know what, why don't I get on with summoning a toad, shall I?"

"Good choice," Naruto congratulated, giving Harry's seething look a slightly nervous glance and then quickly following his teacher back to their rented room, where they had spent the night. Harry followed closely behind them, trying to keep himself from stumbling. He had to soon lift his arms to cradle his chest so that they wouldn't… bounce so much, wondering how long it would take to get used to a completely new centre of weight. Especially one that… shifted and swung.

Maybe some proper lingerie would've helped. The teenage boy inside him flipped a little at that thought, and Harry quickly suppressed the old fantasy of pretty white lace-things.

In the room, Jiraiya and Naruto had already cleaned the futons away, and while Harry sat to the side of the room to watch, Jiraiya prepared to summon. The wizard didn't know what to expect - though he had already figured that whatever ninja was and did, they didn't use wands. He half wondered if Jiraiya would use one of those weird knifes Naruto had - before seeing the man biting his own thumb hard and sharp to make it bleed.

"What?" Harry asked, confused, as the white haired pervert started making weird hand gestures. He didn't get his answer verbally, not really, though the way Jiraiya crouched, slapping his hands to the floor in finish of whatever he was doing, saying something which sounded rather like "koochiyoosne no zutsuh!" to Harry.

Whatever it meant, it had definite effect, as with poof of white smoke, a… creature appeared. A toad, Harry supposed, with a frown. A toad with some impressive eyebrows who was wearing a robe. And sitting on it's - no, his - hind legs. With a crooked cane in his, erm, hands.

"Little Jiraiya!" the toad said delightedly, its voice old croak. "Well, it's been a while, hasn't it, since you've called Grandpa. Where's Grandma? And who are we fighting this time - oh, well now," the toad stopped to stare at Naruto. "This would be the new summoner - Minato's kid, huh? He looks the part, I suppose. Naruto, wasn't it?"

"Uh, yeah. Though who's Minato? And who the heck are you?" Naruto asked, squinting at the toad. "What's the use of summoning an old fart of a toad?"

"Show some respect, brat! This Fukasaku, one of the two Great Elders of all toads!" Jiraiya snapped, slapping Naruto to the back of his head before turning to the toad. "Yeah, that's Naruto, but he's not why I called you here - and no we're not fighting anyone either," the man added before frowning. "Remember what you told me about the other world where young toads train? Could you tell me about that again?"

The toad, Fukasaku, frowned slightly at that. "Now why would you want to know about that?" he asked suspiciously.

"I need to know if it's possible for a human from there to come here, and if so, is there a way to send him back?" Jiraiya said, glancing at Harry who had been trying figure out how the toad would walk in two feet. Following the white haired man's gaze, Fukasaku turned to look at the wizard too. Then he glanced between Naruto and Harry and then back again.

"Did little Minato have a daughter?" the toad asked.

Jiraiya made a sound between thoughtfulness and frustration at that. "It would've been interesting, but no," he said, before explaining the situation. As Harry eyed the toad and the toad eyed him back, Jiraiya told what happened - with generous amounts of help from Naruto who couldn't help adding his two-knuts to the matter.

"A wizard, you say?" Fukasaku murmured, eying Harry. "How many continents?"

"On Earth? Seven," Harry answered, a little confused.

The toad's eyes narrowed. "Could've been a lucky guess. Can you name them all? Who's the most famous wizard in the world? What is the name of the committee of all magical nations?"

Harry blinked, and then caught on. "Europe, Africa, Asia, South and North America, Australia and Antarctica. Merlin's the best known, I think, and it's the International Confederation of Wizards," he answered and shook his head. "I'm from Britain myself, and our government is the Ministry of Magic, though who knows what it's now, with the war and all. I'm Harry Potter, I am or was seventeen years old, and I studied at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where I was sorted to Gryffindor, if that tells you anything," he added. "Also, I am male, current appearances aside. And I knew a toad whose owner called him Trevor, though if that means anything I have no idea."

Fukasaku lifted his bushy eyebrows at Harry before nodding and getting a thoughtful look about his face. "Trevor, Trevor, hm. I think I might know the young one you speak of - he returned to us just little while ago," he said, and turned away, bringing his hands - or whatever toad's version of hands were called - in a single strange gesture. In immediate answer, there was another poof of white smoke, and another toad materialised beside the old, eyebrowed one.

The toad - who was much bigger than Fukasaku, big enough to reach Naruto's knee - blinked with confusion. "Elder?" the toad croaked, while Harry eyed the pattern of warts along the toad's back. They did look… familiar. "Do you have a message?"

"Message?" Harry asked with confusion, then noticed that the toad had a messenger back on its side. A _toad_. With a messenger bag.

"I don't have a message for you, Gamatoreva. I have a question. When you were on your training period in Earth, what was the name of the human you learned under?" the old toad asked

"Neville, sir. Neville Longbottom," Gamatoreva answered, looking a bit uneasy. "I, uh was a bad student, sir. Neville was not very exciting in the beginning and, uh… I got good at running because I kept trying to run away from him," he admitted. "The last couple of years were more exciting, before that horrible Carrows' woman killed me."

"Trevor?" Harry asked with shock. "You're _Trevor_? Neville's Trevor - the one who got lost on Hogwarts Express the first year?"

"I didn't get _lost_, I was trying to find a better -" the toad started, and then frowned. "How do you know that?" he asked slowly.

"I'm Harry. Harry Potter - I slept beside Neville in Hogwarts for six years - you kept trying to climb the curtains of my bed! Everyone's bed, actually," Harry said and frowned. "And you were always nearly getting squished by the bathroom door." He had almost stepped on the toad a couple of times. Granted, Trevor had been a whole lot smaller back then.

"Harry Potter?" the toad asked slowly, looking him up and down. "You don't look much like him. Though I suppose, I didn't get to see him much the last year, he didn't return to Hogwarts for some reason. Did you do that to your self? Neville was sure you were fighting somewhere."

"I _was._ This happened here, not back there," Harry said, waving at himself. "My condolences about the Carrows," he added. "I saw what they did to Neville's face; it couldn't have been pretty when it was happening."

"No, but he grew pretty strong in the end. I'm pretty satisfied now, having had him for a teacher," Gamatoreva said, nodding. Then he gave Harry a curious look. "I didn't know wizards could come to this world. Are you here to train too?"

"That's enough," Fukasaku intersected, making Harry realise that the others had been staring at him and at Gamatoreva with confused fascination. "Do you vouch for her - him - Gamatoreva?" the old toad asked.

"Hm. That owl you had, what was her name?" the younger toad asked. "And the girl, her cat? And the boy's rat? Oh, and when did you find out about Neville's parents?"

Harry smiled, shaking his head. Moody would've liked these toads. "My owl's name was Hedwig - Ron's rat was called Scabbers though it was actually a man named Peter Pettigrew, and Hermione's cat was named Crookshanks. And I found out what Bellatrix and the Lestranges did during fifth year Christmas break, though I already knew, I heard about it in a Pensieve memory the year before that."

Gamatoreva nodded with satisfaction. "I vouch for him, sir, that's Harry Potter."

"Well then. Well indeed," Fukasaku murmured, giving Harry a curious look. "You're far away from home, aren't you, boy? And you died in your end, and then found yourself in little Naruto's seal?"

"If that's what it is, sure," Harry answered. "Do you think there's a way to send me back?"

"Who knows. I've never before heard of a wizard crossing over - we have always thought it was something only us summon animals knew how to do. I will have to consult with the others, see what they know, but if you're dead on the other end…" the old toad trailed away. "Well. It's usually one-time deal for us - when we die on the other side, we can't go back there again. Maybe if you die, you'll go back, or maybe you will just die. I wouldn't recommend testing it, though."

"Dully noted," Harry answered, before leaning forward. "Are owls like you guys?" he asked. "Because I used to, uh… know an owl, Hedwig. Don't know how you would pronounce that, but anyway, we were pretty close. If she's here, I would love to get the chance to see her." He needed to apologise - possibly beg for forgiveness. Hedwig was a ferocious thing when roused.

"Hm. I'll see if I can contact the owls and see if she's around," Fukasaku nodded, to which Gamatoreva promised he'd take the message. The old toad nodded and then frowned. "Now I think I want to return to the mountain. Me and the other elders have much to discuss." He turned to Jiraiya. "Take good care of this one, little Jiraiya," he said seriously. "I believe he is very special."

"Oh, definitely," Jiraiya nodded - and to Harry's surprise, he didn't quite leer the words out. "Keep us posted," the white haired man nodded, and with a nod of his own the old toad turned to the younger one. He raised his not-quite hands into a seal, before stilling.

"Oh, and for god's sake, don't ever tell anyone about where he's from," he added quickly, giving Jiraiya and Naruto a stern look. "We've kept the existence of the other world a secret for a darn good reason - if ninja found out about the wizards and their powers, they'd probably try making the trip there themselves, and then get themselves killed. Or _worse_."

Jiraiya raised his eyebrows and frowned. "Would that really be so bad?"

"Maybe not for you. But the other world is territory of dragons and phoenixes and such - if any of them found out we let people know, we'd find a horde of dragons torching the uncharted lands - and they'd happily torch all us summons with them. We can only go to earth because they let us - and even then only under strict rules."

"Dragons? Phoenixes?" Harry asked curiously.

"Yeah. Your mythical creatures," Fukasaku said, grimacing and shaking his head before turning to Jiraiya. "It's the equivalent of S class secret, so keep your mouth shut, little Jiraiya. You too, little Naruto."

"I'm not little," Naruto grumbled. "And I know all about S class secrets. I _am_ a S class secret."

"Good," the old toad nodded and then vanished in poof of white smoke, taking Gamatoreva with him.

"Well," Jiraiya murmured, once it was just the three humans again. "It wasn't like I was about to go blabbering about this off to first person I met. Well, anyway, now we have some help, that's good." He nodded and then stood up. "We need to get going too, though. We have a gambling boozer to find, and some nice clothes to buy for Harii and sitting around won't help us much. "

As the white haired man went to check his bag, Naruto turned eagerly to Harry. "Did you say there was a war, Harii-niisan? Fighting? Were you in a war - did you kill anyone, were there lot of battles? What were the bad guys like? I bet you were awesome! What did you do?"

Harry eyed the kid with surprise as Naruto launched onto a barrage of rapid-fire questions. He was saved from them when Jiraiya snapped at Naruto to get the kid to packing too, but even then the blond looked back at Harry hopefully. The kid had just gotten proof of another world and wizards and dragons and such and been told to keep it a secret - and he wanted to know about the war and fighting? Harry was seriously starting to wonder if the kid was suffering from ADHD. Or maybe he was just explosively bipolar.  
Shaking his head he stood up, carefully compensating for the extra weight on his chest. "So, we're getting some clothing for me? I don't have anything to pay with," he said, glancing at Jiraiya.

"The pervert's loaded up to his gills, don't worry about it," Naruto said.

"And buying clothes for a cute girl is the duty of any proper man!" Jiraiya agreed. "Lingerie first, yes?"

"Only if you promise not to set one foot into the store," Harry answered with a frown.

x

After short trip down the main street of the town they were in they made it to the shopping district. Harry made a bit of a fool of himself, not only because he was wearing the equivalent of a man's under shirt and nothing else, but also because he couldn't stop staring. Everything was so… strange looking. The buildings, the flags hanging here and there, the people and their clothing, everything. Harry felt like a tourist lost in a foreign country and was pretty exhilarating feeling. Or would've been, if every passer-by hadn't been staring at him like he was a escapee from a mental hospital

"Here first!" Jiraiya happily pronounced at the lingerie store - where he did try to enter. Thankfully for Harry, Naruto seemed to only get more adamant about protecting his _big brother_ from the pervert, and as Harry cautiously stepped inside, he did it alone. Seeing what the store looked like from inside made him wish he had some company.

"Uh," he said awkwardly to a store clerk who was giving him a slightly horrified look. "I need some, uh… I was robbed," Harry invented quickly. "All my clothing, gone. So I need, well. Everything."

"Oh, you poor dear, you poor poor girl," the sales person immediately said, coming around the counter. "Come right in, we'll get you properly set. Although," the woman stopped, glancing him up and down and then looking a bit suspicious. "If you were robbed…"

"He's paying," Harry said before she could ask, pointing behind himself with is thumb.

"Oh, Jiraiya-sama! Well, then, since you're with a regular customer, I need to put my best foot forward, won't I? And my best lace too, I believe. Come on in dear, let's get to work," the woman nodded, and dragged Harry to his frilly, lace filled doom.

Half an hour later, after going through several phases of _oh my god, so many straps_ and _who the hell needs this many different styles of panties_ and _she's not expecting me to wear that!_ and such, Harry was left with two shopping bags full of frilly lacy things and the feeling of being utterly lost - because, despite all his previous worries, panties were pretty comfortable, and a bra? A strappy lacy thing of doom that it was, it was still a gift from _heaven_.

Not that he would ever tell that to anyone that he thought so, nope.

"So, so, so?" Jiraiya asked, after paying and giving an appreciative look at Harry's chest - which was now, thanks to the bras, pretty perky looking. "Double D's, right?"

"Clothing, now," Harry answered with dignified huff - because there was no way he'd let Jiraiya know he had wanted to know too. Lifting his chin slightly he handed blushing Naruto his bags of frilly things before taking Jiraiya's wallet and approaching the next shop, which looked like it sold common clothes. Jiraiya followed him eagerly, and begun immediately making suggestions about this cocktail dress and that miniskirt and these skin tight little shorts and how about that see-through top, and ooh, look at those high heels - all if which Harry ignored.

Maybe it was being woman - or maybe it was the fact that Harry and never really gotten the chance to shop clothing before - but he found himself enjoying himself immensely. Naruto was great help, happily fetching him this and that and getting him size smaller or bigger when ever he was trying them out. He also had pretty good moral compass in Jiraiya about what to pick - anything that made the man frown or pout was good, and all that made him grin gleefully was bad.

"Really?" Jiraiya asked mournfully, after Harry had made his selection. Harry nodded happily, setting the bundle of clothing to be ringed up. "But they cover _so much!_" the white haired man wailed.

"Exactly," Harry agreed and grinned at the amused store keeper. "Would you mind if I put some of these on here in the store?"

"Not at all. Here, I'll take the tags off for you," the man offered, and while Jiraiya and Naruto bundled up the rest, Harry headed back to the changing booth.

He came out wearing long pants, a long sleeved and high collared jumper and a robe-type of thing called yukata over it - which, being kind of loose, covered his curves some what. It was impossible to hide them completely, but at least he wasn't displaying his assets for all the world to see. With boots of the weird sandal-ish design thrown in, he was satisfied with his outfit. The yukata was no wizard's robe, but it was close enough to be comfortable.

"You're wearing it all wrong," Jiraiya moaned, sounding kike he was in physical pain. "That's a _man's_ yukata, and you're not supposed to wear _jumpers_ or _pants_ beneath it! You really should've taken the other one in stead - the pink one. And why that colour anyway?" Jiraiya asked, eying the dark red yukata and pants and the dark yellow shaded jumper with pure dismay.

"House pride," Harry answered, giving himself a look. He was wearing his clothes wrong? Ah, well, tough luck. He was already running around as a buxom woman with golden blond hair - looking ridiculous was bit of a moot point now. And he had enough of gloomy colours after six years of Hogwarts uniforms and Dudley's old rags. Besides he had wanted to become Auror, so the red yukata-robe-thingy was kind of merited anyway.

"It's not very stealthy," the white haired man criticised.

"Yeah, and that red cocktail dress would've been really stealthy, huh? You're the one to talk anyway," Harry answered, eying Jiraiya's red vest and Naruto's bright orange jumper.

"I didn't say anything - I think you look awesome Harii-niisan!" Naruto said, handing the lingerie and clothing bags to Harry.

"Thanks, kid," Harry answered with a grin and then ignored the mournful sigh Jiraiya let out. "I'm about done - I think I have all clothing I need. What next?"

"Backpack and bedroll, after that some food, and then we'll get going," Jiraiya sighed again heavily, giving the clothing store one last look of longing before turning to leave.

They bought the backpack and the bedroll quickly enough, and after Harry had stuffed everything into the bag, they were more or less ready to leave. While Harry shouldered the backpack, first marvelling the strength of his body once more because the bag seemed to weight nearly nothing, and then grimacing a bit and trying to shimmy his long hair from beneath it, Jiraiya headed to some grocery store, to fill their food stores.

"So, where are we heading from here?" Harry asked, trying to decide how to situate his hair so that it wouldn't be tugged awkwardly by the backpack. Maybe he should cut it? It was long, but on other hand… he _liked_ girls with long hair. It would b e such a shame…

"Further south - there's a casino in the next town, I think. The pervert thinks Tsunade might be there, so that's where we're heading," Naruto said, crossing his fingers behind his neck. "I'm going to try and pester the pervert to teach me something on the way. He's been trying to teach me this cool jutsu, but I have to first do this weird trick with a water balloon and I haven't managed that yet."

"Jutsu," Harry asked curiously. "What's that?"

As they waited for Jiraiya to return to the grocery store, Harry soon learned that Jutsu was the local equivalent of a spell, except the users, the ninja, didn't need wands to do it - and their spells were the weird hand gestures Jiraiya had done to summon the toad elder. "Of course, it's not all used for just jutsus, chakra that is," Naruto explained self importantly and made a seal. Harry eyed him with interest, as power whirled about the boy. "Some of it can be used to do cool tricks, like this!"

With that said, Naruto walked to a near by wall, and then up the vertical surface as if it was normal ground. Harry blinked at him with fascination and then walked to the kid. "Okay, I got to admit, that's wicked. How are you doing that?" he asked. He had never even heard of a spell that let you defy gravity like this - levitation charms and self levitation sure, flying of course. But walking up a wall, that was something else.

"I'm just putting chakra to my feet," Naruto said, lifting one of his feet off the wall. "It took a while to figure out how much was enough, though - I kept falling off in the beginning. But now I'm awesome - I can even walk over water! That's a bit harder though."

"You think I could do it too?" Harry wondered. It would be pretty awesome. He wasn't sure how useful, but who cared, it still looked wicked.

"I'm sure you can, niisan! You just got to try," Naruto grinned, and after moment of thought, Harry glanced at the grocery store and then shrugged his shoulder. Jiraiya had probably gotten caught flirting at some other customer or something, so there was no harm in it. And he was more than happy to receive another perk of his new, erm, perky body, if there was one to be gained.

"So, just put chakra to my feet, huh?" he mused and as Naruto nodded eagerly he decided to test the theory of chakra and magic being at least somewhat similar, and tried it.

When Jiraiya came out of the store, with a bright red lip mark on his cheek and somewhat goofy smile on his face, Harry was already suffering from a very sore behind and was very annoyed with the wall. "Are you two trying some kinky stuff again?" the white haired man asked, looking between Harry who was on his knees and rubbing his behind after the latest fall, and Naruto who stood horizontally beside him.

"Shut it pervert," Naruto snapped. "I was trying to show Harii-niisan how to chakra-walk."

"And it's not agreeing with me." Harry did not _whine_, it was just the feminine voice that made it sound that way. "How the hell are you supposed to do this stuff?"

"Well, you can't very well use Chakra, can you, never having been trained as ninja," Jiraiya said, sighing and shaking his head with what he probably thought was parentally exasperated look.

"I can get _that_ part to work," Harry snapped, shifting and planting his feet against the wall. With little bit of concentrating, they stuck to it as if they had been glued on - it had been easy to figure out, it worked kind of like riding a broom in a odd way.

"But how the hell am I supposed to stand like this? Or walk?" he asked, and tried. His feet did stick to the wood, but his arse wouldn't leave the ground. "Do you have muscles made of iron or something?" he asked, eying Naruto who looked for all the world to see as if gravity had reversed itself on him - except for the way his hair and clothes hung, still obeying laws of nature.

"Eheh… I've never thought about that," Naruto murmured. "It is a bit hard, when I think about it. I don't usually just stand here like this, it's mostly running. It's actually easier to stand on ceiling than on a wall."

Jiraiya snorted, shaking his head and walking closer. "Well, that's a matter of training too," he said, bending down and lifting Harry up by his armpits, much to the wizard's dismay - Jiraiya came very close to copping a feel. "Most ninja start by running, and after that their muscles just get used to it. It takes years to manage normal type of walking - Naruto can do it because he's an abnormal midget and he uses his tenant to cheat."

"Screw you Pervert Hermit, I can do it because I'm awesome!"

"So, next time I should try running," Harry mused, while quickly putting a couple of feet's worth of space between himself and the white haired man. "I'll keep that in mind. Wouldn't that be a bit impolite to whoever's wall you're running up, though?"

"It's only a problem if you stick around to listen to complaints," Jiraiya said cheerfully before giving him a thoughtful look. "I wonder though. By all logic you shouldn't have managed that at all - it takes years of training to become efficient at channelling chakra. Maybe you've somehow inherited Naruto's previous training, as well as his physical strength?"

"Or maybe it's magic. It didn't feel that different from it for me," Harry shrugged, and picked up his backpack.

"I don't know, it felt like chakra to me," Naruto mused, stepping down from the wall and to normal ground. "Maybe they're the same thing, but with different names?"

"Or similar enough for one to pass as the other. I'll ask the toads the next time we get the chance to stop," Jiraiya decided. "Now though, let's get going. We've got a long way to walk if we want to make it before night."

xx

I seriously doubt the wisdom of this, because for the life of me I can't come up with any form or a plot or reason as to why this should be continued. But I suppose the future reactions to Naruto's new awesome gender confused niisan is reason enough. And then there is Hedwig, of course.

I will most likely not have a pairing for Harry, because on one side it would be weird and on other it would be even weirder, so yeah, better leave well enough alone.  
edit; I made a pairing poll for Harry, though it's mostly for lols and I might not use the results, it'll still be interesting to see what people think.

My apologies for everything.


End file.
